How to Deal with Men Who Have Commitment Issues

Don’t.

Nowadays the most common phrase women will hear while dating is “I’m not looking for anything serious right now” which can be discouraging, but also steers women in the wrong direction in regards to getting what they want.

A lot of times some of us end up in ‘situationships” where we think it’s leading to something serious and more committed or we think we know his feelings are there, but soon realize that it was just a waste of time.

I’m not gonna front men will throw you for a loop with their mixed signals and constant reminders of the fact that they are not trying to commit to you. It’s unhealthy and a never ending mind game. Especially when you have those guys who swore they weren’t going to settle down, but when you finally decide to cut him loose all of a sudden he’s tied down BUT it’s ok forget about him.

 

The reality is that trying to adjust and adapt to every guy you think is the one will leave you exhausted and hopeless. DON’T ADAPT. Save yourself the heartache and headache.
I think that us ladies need to focus on ourselves and if a man who fits into our lives, interests, and needs comes our way then hey give it a shot.

Always stick to your guns and never settle. Don’t adjust your interests, wants and needs so that they match with the guy you think you want.  

Here’s a screenshot of a suggestion I posed for the commitment issue problem 😂😂 👇🏾

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Talk it Out & Move On 

I think in all of our lifetimes we’ll experience a strain in relationships with people such as, coworkers, family members, friends & etc. that will drive us crazy lol.

 Personally I have dealt with those kind of people so let me tell you my take on how to deal with those kinds of people and relationships 🙇🏾‍♀️

So my take on relationships that are always tense or just outright toxic is to mediate and move on. What I mean by talking it out is to try to make amends with whoever that person is. Without arguing. Sometimes people feel like a relationship is worth fixing and can be talked out because sometimes you’ll end up in a situation where you realize there isn’t a balance, the level of respect isn’t the same or your level of commitment isn’t the same and must be spoken on. I think it’s important to be able to maturely identify issues within a relationship and attempt to resolve them. Sometimes it’s a simple as a miscommunication, an apology or something along those lines then next thing you know you’re laughing & joking 

However, it’s not always as simple as talking it out so this is when the moving on aspect comes into play. Regardless of the out come of the conversation you HAVE to move on from the issues or from the person/situation entirely. 

Sometimes you’ll find that the other person prefers to be at odds or cannot maturely articulate you guys’ issues so that it can be resolved.

 So for your own sanity you must move on. It’s unhealthy to continuously make yourself apart of a situation that will never be ok. Ride off into the sunset like Jay-Z knowing you tried but it just didn’t work


I feel like the “talking it out” part is crucial because depending on the relationship you realize that it wasn’t purposeful meaning that maybe friend wasn’t supportive and was never capabale of being that person, that person you were dating was playing games or even though the person is a family member it’s just not healthy for you to have a relationship with them. On the flipside, the discussion causes you to self reflect on your own faults ☝🏾

All in all, when you’re at odds try to mediate it maturely and move on, but if you can’t talk it out it just move on and be happy knowing you put in the effort

Gratitude

I think that one of my biggest pet peeves is seeing someone fail to express their gratitude for something someone did for them or offered to do for them.

Nowadays there’s a lot of seemingly homeless people that beg for money, but when people offer them food they deny it. I remember riding in the car with my coworker and explaining my logic on this whole situation to him. I stated that these people have signs that say they’re homeless you offer them food and in Baltimore they typically give a flat or rude response with the bottom line being that what you’re offering them isn’t what they want. However, here you are considering their current situation whether it is legitimate homelessness or a substance abuse problem and they fail to show appreciativeness towards the fact they were willing to give them what you had despite how your day or even life was going.

I’ve come across a lot of people who feel as though anything that someone does for them is what is expected of them and shouldn’t require any thanks which includes people you don’t even know from a hole in the wall. For example, I’m sure you guys have came across people who you held the door for and they walked through without a peep or at work you do something that takes a load off a coworker/supervisor/boss yet they fail to acknowledge that you helped them out.

Those most current thing these days that I’ve noticed on social media is that people will retweet compliments and etc. which clutters their TL instead of just simply saying “thank you”. I just feel like it costs nothing for someone to tell you good job, congrats, or you look amazing and it costs the person the receiving end even less to just say thank you.

I think that a lot of people fail to consider what other people put aside or maybe even sacrifice in order to look out for them. So if someone does something nice for you just say thank you. Consider both sides not even what you do for someone, but also what someone has done for you.

 

 

 

Question??? 🤔🤔🤔

When was the last time y’all did something for the first time?

I’m the kind of person who always likes to try and do new things because I feel like life is too short to not experience all of the shit that’s out here.

I’ll list some of the recent things I did for the first time (well as much as I can actually remember)

  • Dec (2016): I dyed all of my hair red (I was so scared that my hair was gonna fall out but it didn’t so I’m happy lol)
  • January: I started a Youtube Channel which I plan to revive in a few weeks
  • February I went to the Museum of African American History in DC for Black History Month of course but it was boring as fuck and the lines were long as fuck like some kings dominion type shit
  • March: I went to the Museum of Sex in NYC, which was crazyy there was a titty room, old victorian porn photos and shit
  • April: I completed an internship where I assisted refugees
  • May: I graduated from college

Regardless of whether you have a list like mine I think you should write out a list of things you want to do and seriously plan to do them friends or on a date.

Social Media: a Gift and a Curse

For the past few years I’ve always talked about how much social media has affected young adults these days including myself. The affects are good and bad though.

When it comes to the good things, I’ve noticed that a lot of people have used legitimately used social media for networking and building their brands whether it is for hosting/promoting parties, selling clothes, hair extensions or whatever. People have even gotten job opportunities and met celebs because of social media which is dope….. Some people have used social media as a way to make friends, link up with associates and/or date, which can be tricky.

Now here goes the bad….. Inferiority and multiple complexes has been the result of social media from what I’ve noticed. There are people who constantly feel like they need to compete or feel like if they’re not doing what other people are doing they’re an underachiever. Also, flying each other has been a thing that pretty much goes wrong every time lol PSA: don’t fly across the country solo to link up with strangers. 

ALSO, it seems like we all have a hard time disconnecting. Sometimes I’ll find myself refreshing my TL just because and not because I have any interest in whatever everyone is tweeting or posting it’s just become a habit.

Social Media is really complex and taking over slowly but surely in both good and bad ways.

Adulting

Adulting has been on my mind a lot lately now that I’ve graduated from college. I have time to kinda think like “ok so now what?”


I think we all reach that point where (whether we went to college or not) we’re trying to figure out what’s the next move we need to make in order to prosper as an adult.

There’s so much to on the adulting to do list📝:

  • Finding a decent job with good benefits
  • finding somewhere to live
  • paying bills
  • budgeting
  • staying organized and on top of things
  • Building up your resume
  • putting your time management skills to use or if you don’t have any building them up

Here’s a 👉🏾 link to a guide that’ll help you with most of your adulting questions and issues

I think the most difficult part is making the transition from being guided through life by your parents to doing it all on your own, but it’s just a one day at a time type of things. I just wanted to make this post to ensure you that you’re not alone.